


Reaching into Night

by ourdarkspirits



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourdarkspirits/pseuds/ourdarkspirits





	Reaching into Night

 

Cassandra flopped face down on the sofa with a loud harrumph.  She had been researching and was coming up completely empty.  Practical magic was not something that turned up in the Library apparently (or in the Annex).  Sure there was plenty of theory but that was distinctly not what she needed.  

She didn’t notice Jake eyeing her bemusedly from the end of the sofa until he spoke.

“What’s up, Cassandra?” he drawled, closing the book he had been reading in peace until she had shown up.  

Ordinarily she would have jumped blushing and found somewhere else to indulge her irritation.  Now she couldn’t be bothered, so she grumbled into the sofa cushion instead.  

“Is that so?” Jake asked, his eyebrows raised.

She nodded, or at least he guessed she did.  Her face was still firmly pressed into the cushion.

Cassandra wasn’t about to tell Jake what had her so frustrated.  She didn’t need him knowing that she had retained some magic after the trouble with the _Libris fabula_ without telling anyone and he certainly didn’t need to know that she was trying to learn how to use that magic.  He already had a hard enough time trusting her and even though he was fine with that she wasn’t, and she was trying hard to make it better.  So, no she wasn’t going to tell him what was frustrating her.

Instead she just kept her face in the cushions of the sofa.

With one last look, Jake said, “I guess you’re gonna be here awhile then.”

At her nod, he reopened his book and continued reading.  A few moments later, without really consciously thinking about it, he dropped his hand to the back of her head.  She tensed for a moment, which was saying something because she was pretty tense when she flopped onto the sofa, but as quickly as she tensed, she relaxed, almost boneless.  He let his hand slide down to the base of her neck, running over her soft hair and she let out a little sigh, turning her head a little.  Taking that as permission he let himself drop his hand down to her shoulders, drawing little patterns absently as he kept on reading.

She relaxed into his touch, enjoying the way it felt to have him drawing patterns on her back.  Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, it was helping her think.  After all, he was the one who helped things make sense, straighten out, focus, in her head.  Why wouldn’t this help?  She was slowly starting to work out a way to make magical theory work for.  To go from theories of what magic is to taking it into its practical applications, to make use of what she had within her.

Her arms were falling asleep and she knew she was going to have to turn over or get up.  She didn’t care for either option, but if she had to choose, turning over was better.  She wriggled and Jake lifted his hand off her back.  She managed to flop herself onto her back, her legs draped over the arm of the sofa and her head a little closer to Jake’s hip.

“Better?”

“Yep,” she said, and this time he could tell she was nodding.  “My arms were falling asleep.”

Jake watched as she rubbed feeling back into the offending limbs and then turned back to his book.  It was surprisingly easy, comfortable even, to have their, sharing his space.  The casual touch of his hand on her back had felt natural and he wasn’t too interested in denying it.  He had begun to come to terms with the thing they had between them, and so it was easy to go back to reading at ease with her closeness.

Without the distraction of pins and needles in her arms, Cassandra was able to concentrate more fully on the equations she had started with Jake’s hand on her back.  The books she had read had given her an idea on how to connect with that magic that still rested within her.  Her head filled with numbers and symbols all colored a light blue much like the little orb of light she had produced in her hand after they had gotten back to the Annex.  

She reached behind her to touch his arm and get his attention.

“Jake?” she question.

“What is it, darlin?” he asked, the endearment slipping out without his input.

She didn’t remark on it, simply asked, “What are you reading?”

“Endymion, by Keats,” he responded, not sure whether to feel relieved or not that she hadn’t commented on the endearment.  

 

“Huh, that might work,” Cassandra mused, and alright his curiosity was peaked.

“What might work?”

“You know I use memories as a focus for my math.  You helped me with that, but for the math I’m working through right now, I need a word, so I asked you what you’re reading.” Cassandra explained.  

Jake nodded and carried on reading.  He figures if she’s doing a big equation, it’s best not to distract her too much, besides he understands her needing a focus, even if he doesn’t understand the math.

Cassandra goes back to calculating, and she can feel she’s getting closer, she can feel everything starting to come together, can see it.  She closes her eyes and lets go a little more, safe knowing that Jake is right there.  A few moments later she’s shaking her head.  It’s not going to work.  She needs a different word she’s just not sure what. She reaches up again to touch Jake’s arm, get his attention.

When he looks down to meet her gaze, she asks, “Would you mind reading out loud for a bit? I think it will help.”

“Sure, Cassie,” he says and starts reading out loud.  

She lets the sound of his coarse Oklahoma voice wash over her, caressing the words, the way he sometimes caressed the syllables of her name.  She want back to working through the equations, letting her eyes slide closed and she found her word.

_O sovereign power of love! O grief! O balm!_

_All records, saving thine, come cool, and calm,_

_And shadowy, through the mist of passed years:_

She felt a warmth spread through her, igniting her, as she finished her equations, with a word to focus her.  She felt the magic within her come together, and they attached to that one word.  She felt as it became accessible, active.

Jake continued to read, not noticing what Cassandra had just managed.  She let herself be lulled by his voice, and soon she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

 

When Cassandra woke up, she found that her head was now officially resting on Jake’s thigh, and that he had also fallen asleep, his body angled slightly more towards hers and his dropped back against the sofa.  She had work to be doing, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face Jake after apparently sleeping sort of on him.  

She slowly and gingerly got up from the couch, doing her best not to jostle him.  Cassandra really didn’t want to wake Jake.  When he didn’t wake, she slipped out of the room to find a quiet corner in the Library, which, while still attached to the Annex, was bigger and easier to get lost in, minimizing the chances that she would be found.  

When she found an empty nook, hidden away among the shelves of the library, she settled herself in to experiment.  The magic she had is now readily accessible, brimming just below the surface of her skin, waiting to be used.  

She began by just listening.  That’s how she thought of it, though there’s no actual noise, but somehow she got the feeling that the magic had something to say to her, so she listened.  

Once she got an idea of how it worked, she started focusing.  Just something small, she told herself.  She created an image in her mind, which considering the synesthesia, is quite easy, and began focusing on that, the magic gathering around the word, and when she opens her eyes, she sees it, a little flower.

She realized quickly that just knowing how something looks is not enough.  She needed to know the texture, the material, how it would feel in her hands, how heavy it is, to make things appear.  If she wanted a glass figure, she has to imagine the weight of the glass, the cool, smooth weight of it in addition to its shape.  Once she has that figured out, she tries different things.

She turned inward, listening to the magic again, and then focused on the shelf in front of her, picking a book, and then with her face scrunched up in concentration, she began to think about that book sitting on the table in front of her.  Reluctantly the book wiggled itself free from the shelf.  On the edge of the shelf, it almost dropped, but Cassandra renewed her concentration, and soon the book was drifting through the air to land in front of her on the table.  She brought her hands up in fists and pumped them with a little “yes!” because it had worked.

She lost of track of time and that was new.  Normally that was a part of the everyday thoughts that constantly wound through her brain.  She had gotten so caught up, that for once it was something she didn’t think about.  Then intense focus she was employing in order to experiment with different things proved to be an effective way to clear her mind, something she hadn’t been able to successfully achieve since she was very young.  

She kept listening to the magic, adhering to its suggestions, but when she felt it hint at that spot in her frontal lobe, she stopped.  She forgot to concentrate and everything else came rushing in.  She was breathing heavily, trying to wrap her head around the possibility that she could save herself.  

Finally, after fifteen years, Cassandra was faced with the possibility that the tumor could be removed, that her death sentence would be postponed.  She could live the life she had always imagined.  Yet, she was scared.  What if she changed, or worse, what if she didn’t get it right?  What if it killed her?  She would be lost in the depths of the library for who knows how long.

She was going to have to talk to someone.  Immediately she dismissed Jake as an option.  She could just see his reaction, his betrayal at the revelation that she was using magic, his blustering fear that something would go wrong.  No she couldn’t handle that.  Baird might be a good sounding board, but sometimes she just didn’t get it, didn’t get that Cassandra wasn’t fragile, that Cassandra was desperate.  Ezekiel would turn it into a joke and Jenkins rarely acted like he had the time or patience for any of them.  Flynn was right out because he was gone and all the time (for that matter so was Baird).  

It seemed like the Library had other intentions.  As she slumped into her chair, Jake came around the shelves.  

“I was wonderin’ where you got off to,” Jake started, conversationally.

“I just wanted a quiet place to do some more work,” Cassandra offered as an explanation, gesturing at the messy table in front of her.

“Huh.  Mind if I join you?” he asked.

She looked at him, trying to gauge what he was doing, before nodding.  

Jake sat down across from her and asked, casually as he could, “So what is all this?”

“I came across a theory in one of the books I was looking at and was trying to apply it,” Cassandra offered, her tone cagey.  

“Magic?” Jake got right to the heart of it.  

“Yeah, ever since we collected the _Libris fabula_ , I’ve had a little bit of magic left over from my stint as Merlin-Prince Charming,” Cassandra said, “I kind of figured out how to use it.”

Jake didn’t say anything, and she honestly couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, so she barrelled on, “It’s actually really incredible and useful, now that I’ve figured it out.”

“You didn’t look so happy when I found you,” and Cassandra guessed that was meant as a question even if Jake didn’t phrase it that way.

Cassandra was hesitant in her answer, trying to figure out the best way to explain it.  “The magic, it kind of - suggests how it can be used and it was small stuff, you know simple things; moving objects, creating things, but right before you came in, it offered something big.”

“How big, Cassie?” Jake sounded worried, and he had every reason to be.

“Removing my tumor big,” Cassandra whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“So what’s the hang up?” he asked and Cassandra looks up at him.

“What if it goes wrong?  What if I can’t finish it and it kills me?  Or what if it goes right and I’m no longer me anymore?” Cassandra offered by way of explanation.

Jake was speechless, truly speechless.  He had been so glad to hear that she had found a way to remove the tumor, he hadn’t thought of the possible consequences.  He hadn’t thought of her dying, of her not being the same Cassie he had gotten to know.  He could see Cassandra was getting nervous again, so he spoke up.

“Is there something I can do? Research?” he offered.  He wanted to be able to something for her, something to make her decision easier.

She looked up at him with round eyes like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  

“I don’t know,” Cassandra said, “I don’t know how to make this choice.”

She began calculating odds, doing permutations and probability equations.  Her hands waved numbers only she could see as she moved on to other equations.  The equations she had used to anchor the magic fed her computations.  

Finally she looked up at him, “I think I can do it.”

“You do?” he asked, his eyebrows raised as he appraised her.

“Yeah, I think so.  But. . . could you stay? I - if something goes wrong,” her voice trailed off as she struggled to find the words to vocalize her worries.

When he didn’t respond right away, she quickly amended, “You don’t have to be right here, just close by.”

“I’ll stay, Cassie,” he assured her.

“Ok,” she nodded and then taking a deep breath, “Ok.”

She shut her eyes and felt the magic rise to meet her.  She concentrated on it, listening to what it was telling her.  She began to think about the tumor, where it sat in her frontal lobe, the size of a grape.  No, not grapes, the tumor.  She had to focus, get it right.  Jake was staying with her, she didn’t want to die in front of him, and with the thought of Jake she was back on track.  She thought of everything she knew about her tumor, and then she pictured it gone.  

She felt the magic in a way she hadn’t before, because this time it was directed at her.  She felt it gathering in her brain, felt it growing stronger, warmer, and then it was gone.  She opened her eyes wide, and at the realization that it had worked, she smiled, and promptly passed out.

* * *

 

Jake had watched her eyes open and had met her gaze preparing to ask if it had worked when she slumped unconscious, sliding out of the chair and onto the floor.  He couldn’t stand up fast enough and he rushed to where she had fallen.

“Cassandra! Cassie, come on darlin’! Wake up.” His voice was urgent.  

He slid her hair back with his hands and when he finally started thinking again, he ran his hand down to her neck, looking for a pulse.  He felt himself start to breathe again when he felt her blood pulsing under his fingers.  Carefully he picked her up and brought her into the Annex.  

Jenkins was in the main room doing research now that everyone was gone, and followed Jake has he carried Cassandra to a sofa and laid her down.  

“What happened to her?” Jenkins inquired, trying to keep the anxiety out of his tone.  He didn’t want the Librarians around and he certainly wasn’t concerned about the bright Cassandra Cillian.

“Magic.” Jake’s answer was succinct and not at all helpful.

“What do you mean ‘magic?’” Jenkins pressed.

“I mean she kept some of the magic after the _Libris fabula_ made her Merlin and she figured out how to use it,” Jake spat out.

The older man knelt down and examined her, after all he had a thousand years of experience with magic.  When he was satisfied, he knelt back and looked at Jake.

“She’s fine.  As far as I can tell, it worked.  She just needs to recover after using that much magic,” Jenkins assured Jake. “I recommend you stay with her, so she sees a familiar face when she wakes.”

Jake nodded and, after finding something to read, he settled himself on the sofa with Cassandra.  He wasn’t unaware of how similar it was to when she had flopped down on the sofa in frustration, only that time she had been conscious.  He guessed he knew what she had been researching.  

Jenkins left the two Librarians to themselves, and went back into the main room of the Annex.  He had thought he was alone, but as always, the Librarians managed to surprise him, especially Cassandra.  He mused on the implications of her retaining magic and using it as he got back to his research in relative peace.

Jake didn’t know how long he sat with Cassandra waiting for her to regain consciousness.  He tried reading but every few pages he’d be distracted by the woman next to him, looking to see if she was waking up.  After a few hours he managed to drift asleep.  

“Ow,” Cassandra’s voice stirred Jake from sleep and he looked down to see her eyes open and regarding him.

 

“Hey.  It’s good to see you conscious,” Jake said, his relief coloring his tone.

 

Cassandra pressed her hands to her forehead and closed her eyes.  “Ugh, it doesn’t feel so great to be conscious right now.”

 

Jake chuckled.  He couldn’t help it.  Cassandra seemed to be alright with the exception of her pain.

 

Cassandra mused, “I suppose it would have been worse right after. . .” She trailed off gesturing at her head.  “It’s probably for the best that I was unconscious.”

 

“Yeah,” Jake agreed, “I suppose it was.”

 

They fell into silence, not exactly easy, but not quite uncomfortable either.  Finally, Cassandra looked back up at Jake.

 

“Jake?”

 

Jake hummed to show he was listening.

 

“Why weren’t you upset when you found out I was practicing magic?” Cassandra asked tentatively.

 

“Should I have been?”

 

“I thought you would be.  After all, it was a huge secret and I kept it from all of you,” Cassandra responded.

 

“And you’re using it to help, Cassie,” Jake told her.  He was frowning at her trying to figure her out, then it dawned on him.  “You thought I’d see it as a betrayal.”

 

Cassandra closed her eyes and nodded with a pained look on her face.  She felt like she needed to sit up to have this conversation, but when she tried, the pain got worse so she dropped back down.

 

“Cassie, you’ve proven time and again what you’d do for us, for the Library.  I,” he paused, not sure now was the time to finish that sentence, so he changed tack, “I didn’t think that’s why you were trying to use magic.”

 

Cassandra nodded and then, “Jake, can you take me home?  I’m exhausted.”

 

Jake chuckled.  “Yeah, Cassie.  I can take you home.”

 

He went to collect his things, and let Jenkins know Cassandra was alright and he was taking her home, before collecting Cassandra and helping her out of the Annex.  He had time now to finish that conversation, to let himself let her in.  He finally felt like he had a way forward and he didn’t intend to waste it.

 


End file.
